“Do we have to have an Officiant?”
One of the biggest reasons couples choose to elope is because they want their wedding day to feel private, so the question of whether they need an officiant to elope is one of the first large decisions.
When they start looking into marriage licenses and see words like officiant, witnesses, or legal ceremony, the first question is almost always:
“Wait… does that mean someone has to be there while we say our vows?”
Not necessarily.
The biggest misconception I see is couples assuming the legal requirements dictate what their ceremony has to look like. In reality, your marriage license and your wedding ceremony are often two completely separate things.
Once couples realize that, I can almost see the relief wash over them.
Let’s talk about what that actually means.
The Legal Side
Every state has different marriage laws. Some states allow you to legally marry yourselves. Others require an officiant, witnesses, or both.
Requirements vary from state to state, so it’s always important to check with the county clerk in the county where you’ll be getting your marriage license.
I’ve put together detailed guides for the states I photograph most often:
- How to Get Legally Married in Arizona
- How to Get Legally Married in Colorado
- How to Get Legally Married in Utah (coming soon)
Those walk you through the paperwork.
This article is about something different- it’s about creating a ceremony that actually feels like you.
Your Marriage License isn’t your Ceremony
This is the part that surprises couples the most.
The legal paperwork and your ceremony DON’T have to happen at the same time.
One makes your marriage official. The other is the experience you’ll remember forever. Those two things can happen together. Or they can happen separately.
That’s what gives you options:
- Some couples handle the legal paperwork before their elopement.
- Others exchange completely private vows first and complete the legal paperwork with the help of trail angels and me signing.
- Some couples have an officiant and witnesses attend.
Just because your state requires an officiant doesn’t necessarily mean they have to be standing next to you during your most intimate moments.
Can we still have completely Private Vows?
Yes- you absolutely can.
One of the most common ways my couples do this is by separating their vows from the legal paperwork.
We find a beautiful, quiet location where it’s just the two of you. You exchange your vows without an audience. Without interruptions. Without anyone else listening.
I’m there documenting everything- from helping with the timeline to choosing the perfect spot for lighting and privacy, helping set the tone, even acting as ring bearer if needed, and then quietly stepping back when it’s time for your vows.
Later, once we’re back somewhere with people around, we complete the legal portion. That part is simple and only takes a few minutes to fill out and sign.
Then the paperwork is done, and the memory that stays with you of your ceremony is your private declarations to one another, not your signatures.
Meet the Trail Angels
If witnesses are required, I will help by approaching and asking for willing participants. I affectionately call them trail angels.
They’re the hikers, mountain bikers, off-roaders, and fellow adventurers who happen to be enjoying the same beautiful place you chose for your wedding.
I always look for people who already seem happy to be out there. Nobody is ever pressured to help. If someone isn’t interested, we simply wish them a great day and ask someone else.
I’ve met couples celebrating anniversaries, newly engaged couples, families out exploring together, and people who are simply thrilled they get to witness a wedding.
I’ve watched complete strangers cheer, congratulate my couples, ask for a celebratory photo afterward, and leave saying it made their day.
Those tiny, unexpected moments of kindness become part of the story, too.
Why you might want an Officiant
A private ceremony isn’t automatically the better choice. Sometimes an officiant is exactly what makes a ceremony feel relaxed.
- A great officiant gives your ceremony structure.
- They help carry the conversation.
- They take away the pressure of wondering what comes next.
- They can incorporate traditions like handfasting, religious elements, spiritual rituals, or simply tell your story in a way that feels deeply personal.
If you’re curious about what it’s actually like to work with an officiant, I’ll also link to a guest article from one of my trusted officiant friends who shares that perspective.
What about having a friend or family member Officiate?
This is another option I absolutely love.
In many states, a friend or family member can become legally ordained to officiate your wedding. Just be sure to verify the requirements for the state where you’re getting married.
I’ve also photographed ceremonies that weren’t led by a single person. Parents read letters. Friends shared stories. The couple spoke directly to the people who helped shape their lives. Everyone participated in meaningful traditions, like a ring warming. Instead of one person leading the ceremony, it became a celebration created by everyone present.
Those moments are incredibly special.
If you’re thinking about inviting loved ones, I’ll also link to my guide on How to Elope With Family and Friends: Creative Ways to Blend Traditions and Intimacy.
So- should we have an officiant?
Couples often ask me which option I recommend. And the truth is… I don’t.
Because there isn’t one right answer.
Instead, I pay attention to what happens when I explain that they don’t need an officiant standing beside them during their vows.
Some couples:
- Immediately relax.
- Smile.
- Take a deep breath and say, “Really?”
That’s usually all the answer they need.
Other couples immediately think:
- “What do we say?”
- “What if it’s awkward?”
- “I think we’d want someone to guide us.”
Those couples usually love having an officiant.
Not because they have to. But because it allows them to be fully present instead of worrying about the ceremony itself.
Pay attention to your first reaction. It usually tells you everything you need to know.
Final Thoughts- there are no Gold Stars for doing it the “Right” Way
After photographing hundreds of elopements, I’ve seen just about every kind of ceremony you can imagine:
- Completely private vow exchanges.
- Beautiful ceremonies led by professional officiants.
- Family members stepping into the role of officiant.
- Friends and family sharing stories or reading poems or passages.
- Parents reading letters.
- Unity ceremonies of all sorts.
Not once have I walked away thinking, “They should have done that differently.”
The couples who look back on their day most fondly aren’t the ones who followed a checklist or did what they thought they were supposed to do. They’re the ones who gave themselves permission to create a wedding day that actually felt like them.
There isn’t an award for doing it the “right” way.
There aren’t gold stars for having an officiant. There aren’t gold stars for skipping one. There aren’t gold stars for inviting guests or keeping it just the two of you.
When you picture your wedding day, ask yourself one question:
What makes me feel the most excited, relaxed, and present?
Let that lead you. Everything else is just logistics.
FAQ
Hi! I’m Shannon Durazo
A former project manager turned your Southwest elopement photographer, go-to problem solver, Fellow Dog Lover, and Adventure Buddy
Are you ready for a nature-filled wedding or an epic elopement adventure? Let’s make it unforgettable. I’m here to do more than take photos—I’m here to help you create a day that feels as incredible as it looks. From scouting jaw-dropping locations and sharing vendor recommendations to crafting timelines that catch that golden-hour magic, we’re building more than a wedding day; we’re creating art while putting your experience first. Whether it’s hiking a mountain, off-roading to a secret spot, or chasing sunsets, we’ll make memories as unique and extraordinary as your love story.
I specialize in capturing both intimate elopements and weddings in Arizona, Colorado, Utah, and Northern New Mexico.
